The West Michigan Shoreline Regional Development Commission, which manages homeland security operations, um, along the western Michigan shoreline, recently gave snow cone machines costing $11,700 to 13 counties under its jurisdiction. I bet you are wondering why! Well, according to a memo the machines (which some officials would rather you call “ice shaving machines”) can make ice to treat injuries—but they also make icy treats, to treat people who either have or should have questions about homeland security. In other words, this is not a waste of money, so please stop it right now with your raised eyebrows, and your sarcastic commentary.